Why I Had to Put Myself First as a Single Mom: A Path to Family Wellness

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As a single mom, the bar is often set higher for us. We don’t have the luxury of leaning on a partner to share the load, especially when it comes to nurturing and sustaining our families. The weight of making sure everyone is cared for falls squarely on our shoulders, and that’s no small task.

Moms are naturally the nurturers of the family, the glue that holds everything together. But in today’s world, we don’t live in tribes or close-knit communities anymore. We don’t have that built-in support system, whether it’s extended family or a small circle of like-minded local friends. Instead, it’s up to us to create that sense of community within our own homes, often from scratch.

When it comes to our kids, the instinct is to want to help all of them at once, especially when their needs are so apparent. But here’s the thing: when you’re trying to shore up your family’s health and wellness, it’s not always realistic or even effective to tackle everything at once. Sometimes, you have to pick one child to focus on first—the one whose emotional, physical, or mental issues are running the show more than the others. It may not seem fair, but it’s the most practical approach. By calming the biggest fires, you create more peace and stability for everyone.

But before you can even think about which child to focus on, you need to shore yourself up first. You, as the mom, are the foundation of your family. If you’re not solid, the whole ship goes down. Your reserves have been used up to sustain each child through pregnancy and breastfeeding. If your heart and body are on the ground, your family will be in deep waters.

I’ve watched well-meaning moms dive into this work, wanting to bring their whole family on board all at once. And that makes total sense! However, I’ve noticed a few things. First, it requires a lot of bandwidth to support everyone simultaneously. Life still happens, and kids aren’t always fully on board with all the changes. Managing their emotional and mental buy-in can become overwhelming.

So, let’s be honest—since we’re trying to establish solid health and wellness foundations for your whole family, not just in this moment but for the long haul, starting with you first is crucial. When I got started with this work, my kids were 7, 9, 11, and 15. I had been transitioning to a more holistic way of life since I became a mom, but after my marriage ended in 2009, I really began the cleanup process—food, household products, body care products—and never looked back.

The stress of our lives had already caught up with me. I had never fully recovered my health from things lingering in the backdrop since childhood. I didn’t have a good start, and I’m sure many of you can relate. I grew up in a water-damaged home, eating cheap processed food, using cheap household and body care products, and taking OTC meds as needed.

Thankfully, I was exposed to nature, gardening, and homemade meals, even if they weren’t always whole foods. My grandparents had a huge garden and canned their produce, which left an imprint on me. But still, I had to unlearn and relearn everything on my own. My mother wasn’t interested in how I was changing our lives, and my ex only thwarted my efforts, putting unhealthy ideas into the kids’ heads. Changing felt like an uphill battle, with no ally in my corner—only my inner belief that I had to do this.

To be a disruptor takes far more bravery and inner fortitude than most people talk about. And when you’re overwhelmed, tired, and burned out, it’s easy to want to quit or not even start. The all-or-nothing approach might seem appealing when the fire is lit, but trust me, it can burn out if you’re not aware of what it takes to commit to the long haul.

It’s not easy to go against the mainstream today. You’ll be sabotaged at every turn, made to feel like the bad guy, the health nazi. You’ll likely be misunderstood, judged, and even made fun of. I was. There were times when I thought no one in my life was an ally in this journey. But as a mom, wanting to create a lifestyle that fully supports and repairs our health, you’ve got to have some serious brass ovaries to stay the course.

Thankfully, the tide is slowly turning, and more people are stepping up to take this journey. So, to the mom warriors out there, this is why I strongly suggest starting with YOU first. You’ll need strength you wouldn’t believe, even if your partner is an excellent ally. You’ll be in the trenches, the first responder—your body chemistry is built that way for a reason.

You not only deserve to be supported and put first, but you also need to be, so you can be a solid foundation for your family—a loving, nurturing, soft place for them all to land.

You’ll need to make adjustments, like sleeping better, which likely means someone else in the family needs to sleep better too. You’ll need more energy, and having more energy will make you a better mom. You’ll need more self-care, and by prioritizing that, you’ll demonstrate to your kids something incredibly valuable and foundational for their future.

Focusing on you and one child at first will be quite a task, but it will directly impact everyone. Addressing their diet and lifestyle will be seen by all, and to make it easier on the whole family, you’ll need to streamline how you feed everyone so it’s more cohesive. Once you master supplementation for one child, it will demonstrate to the rest something very important. When it comes time for them to get that support, you and they will be better prepared.

This journey requires strength, courage, and patience. But by putting yourself first, you’re not just caring for yourself—you’re setting the stage for your entire family’s well-being. You’re leading by example, showing your kids the importance of self-care, resilience, and long-term health. So start with you, and then focus on the child with the biggest needs. From there, you’ll create a ripple effect that will benefit your whole family.

My Mom & Child HTMA package is designed to support you first, so you can be the strong foundation your family needs. Learn more & Get Started HERE 

Why Prioritizing My Own Health Was the Best Decision for My Family

When I first saw the results of my own hair test, I was hit with a wave of relief and grief. Relief because I finally had proof that my body chemistry was deranged and that the way I was feeling wasn’t just in my head. Grief because I wished I had known about this test sooner—before I had kids, before the burnout, before everything felt so overwhelming.

The results showed clear evidence of energy loss and burnout. It was the wake-up call I needed, a moment of reckoning that made me realize I had to shift gears in my life. I needed to prioritize my health, slow down, recalibrate, streamline, and organize how we were living.

Once I processed the grief, I came up with a plan. I bunkered down, determined to turn a huge corner not just for myself, but for my family, especially my youngest son. I knew I needed more rest and slowness. I had been pushing too hard, trying to energize myself when what I really needed was to take things off my plate. As a single parent, it’s incredibly hard to admit you can’t do it all, but that’s exactly what I had to face. I couldn’t keep up with society’s expectations, so I began streamlining our lives in many ways.

I also started to focus on my nutrition, finding the right nutrients instead of guessing or overloading myself with stimulating supplement protocols. I gifted myself the time to just be in nature, to re-nourish my soul. I remember the first time I allowed myself to wander freely outdoors, feeling so guilty for not being “productive.” But that time in nature was exactly what I needed to calm my body and, in turn, become a steadier presence for my kids.

As I started taking better care of myself, I noticed a shift in how I was able to support my youngest son. His emotional reactivity, extreme allergies, eczema, and crying spells were huge challenges, but I became more capable of helping him recover. It was a pivotal moment when I realized that if I didn’t take myself off the back burner, there would be no one left to ensure my kids were properly nurtured and cared for. Everything was riding on me, and I didn’t want to be operating from a place of stress and adrenalized hypervigilance anymore. I wanted my kids to have a calm, loving source of safety to come home to—a rock and a reliable ally.

Facing my own state of physiology, mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, was the greatest gift I could have given to myself and my family. If I hadn’t started this work, I don’t know where we would be now. It wasn’t easy raising four sons on my own in such a burned-out state, and I believe many families today are in similar situations, whether they have one parent or two. We live in a time where proper nourishment is often lacking due to poor food quality, depleted soils, poor water quality, excess toxins, and excessively demanding lifestyles.

I believe we need to normalize caring for mothers much sooner. In ancient cultures, deep nutrition for both women and men was prioritized at a young age to ensure they could create optimally healthy children. They also had the support of a tribe to help them raise those children. The modern world is a whole different ball game, one that often lacks the nutrition and nourishment needed for parents and children to thrive and live harmoniously.

Taking care of myself first wasn’t just about me—it was about ensuring I could be the best mom possible for my kids. And that’s something I believe every parent deserves the chance to do.

Why I Had to Focus on My Child with the Biggest Needs First

When you’re a mom, especially a single mom, there’s this gut-wrenching reality that you sometimes have to prioritize one child over the others. It feels unfair, even heart-wrenching. But when one child’s needs are so significant that they take a toll on the entire family—emotionally, mentally, psychologically, or physically—you’re left with no choice.

In my case, it was my youngest son. His emotional volatility and physical health challenges were like a fire that consumed everyone. All my kids had their own struggles, but his were impossible to ignore. From the start of the day until the end, I was constantly on edge, worried about his next hyperreactive response. I knew if I didn’t address his issues first, the whole family would suffer, especially the other kids.

I realize not every family has such a dramatic fire to put out, but some of you do. And it’s easy to normalize these challenges as just part of life. But when one child’s struggles overshadow everything else, it’s a sign that something deeper is going on and needs immediate attention.

For us, the turning point came when I finally tested him and looked at his biochemical patterns. Suddenly, things started to make sense—his health, my stress, the situation he was born into. Instead of walking on eggshells or constantly worrying about flareups, I found clarity and a plan. Even though I was exhausted and had no outside support, I now knew what needed to be done, and that was enough to start making changes.

It wasn’t easy. No one understood what I was doing. When I told people I had tested his hair, they looked at me like I was crazy. Doctors dismissed me, and the school psychologist thought I was out of my mind when I refused medication. She admitted my son didn’t have ADHD but thought medication would help with his emotional issues. I looked her in the eye and said, “No, thank you. I’ll handle it through nutrition first.”

For the first three months, I buckled down and focused solely on him. Slowly, we began to see progress. He started calming down, sleeping better, and even his school performance improved. By six months, he was no longer coming home stressed out, and his skin began to clear up. It was like watching a new child emerge, one who was finally at peace.

Once we saw that progress, it was about maintaining those changes and getting everyone else on board. This wasn’t easy either. I had to work tirelessly at home to ensure that even when he wasn’t in my care, his needs were still being met as best as possible. The truth is, my son wasn’t a problem child—he was just a sweet little boy in a very burned-out, disrupted state of body chemistry. The world wanted to slap labels on him, but they didn’t know what to do because they didn’t understand the root cause.

And that’s the most challenging part—seeing your child go through so much when you know that their behavior is directly impacted by their nutrition. When the brain is starving, hungry, and imbalanced, it’s no wonder they struggle.

This journey has taught me that sometimes, as moms, we have to make tough choices. We have to focus on the child with the biggest needs first, not because we love them more, but because it’s the only way to restore balance to the entire family. It’s not easy, and it’s not always understood by those around us, but it’s necessary for the well-being of everyone involved.

So, if you’re in a similar situation, know that you’re not alone. Prioritizing one child’s needs doesn’t mean you’re neglecting the others—it means you’re doing what’s best for the entire family. It means you’re strong enough to face the fire head-on and brave enough to find a solution, even when no one else sees the path.

My Mom & Child HTMA package offers a step-by-step approach, focusing on you and one child at a time, so you can build a healthy, resilient household. Learn more & get started HERE. 

How Prioritizing My Youngest Son's Health Improved Our Whole Family

Once I settled into my own game plan and my youngest son’s, I began to notice something remarkable. The changes I was making for him and myself started to overflow into the entire household. Everyone began to benefit from the shifts we were making. Once I felt more stable and had a solid foundation for my youngest son—who needed the most attention at the time—I decided to test everyone else in the family to identify their specific needs.

What I discovered was that we had a lot of similarities in our health profiles, which made it easier to implement changes across the board. The kids saw me making changes, and we had many conversations about what was going on. They began to understand, and slowly, they became more open to the transitions we were making. Since I was already on a path with real food and nutrition, they were familiar with a lot of the foundational practices. The tweaks I started making—like minimizing histamines, increasing vegetable consumption, and packing healthier lunches—were different but manageable.

I also introduced supplements that could help address our imbalances. Not everyone was perfectly cooperative at first, and it took time to figure out how to make the most impactful changes with the least amount of resistance. So, we started by implementing changes that weren’t met with pushback, and over time, I reintroduced more challenging adjustments.

The first three to six months were the most challenging because everything was new to all of us. But as we moved forward, the changes became easier to integrate. Even though there was still resistance around certain things from certain kids, I was able to retest them and continue making tweaks that kept them healthy through the seasons. The progress wasn’t just about supplements; it was also about diet, lifestyle, sleep, and healthy habits.

Eventually, these practices became second nature in our family routine. When someone started feeling rundown, noticed an eczema flare-up, or experienced a mood shift, we all better understood what to do. The knowledge we gained and the habits we established allowed us to address issues quickly and effectively, helping everyone in the family feel better and stay healthier.

In the end, what started as a focused effort on my own health and my youngest son's well-being ended up benefiting the entire family. It reinforced the idea that taking care of one child’s needs—especially when they’re the most pressing—can create a ripple effect that uplifts everyone. 

The Power of Hair Analysis: Short-Term Relief and Long-Term Prevention

One of the short-term benefits of working with hair analysis is that it provides a clear picture of where the body is at physiologically. You can see the stress response and how it has impacted organs, tissues, glands, brain function, and even mood. This detailed insight helps correlate information and develop a nutrient and dietary plan that aligns with the body’s current chemistry.

Sometimes, it’s the most subtle things that make the biggest difference. While broad knowledge about health is essential and can lead to progress, it’s in the nuanced information revealed by hair analysis that we often find the key to overcoming obstacles. In the short term, targeting these specific areas can bring things back into balance, providing immediate relief and support.

But the benefits don’t stop there. In the long term, this approach is preventative by nature. It allows us to not only put out the current fires but also establish a foundation for stable health and well-being. By addressing both immediate and long-term needs, hair analysis becomes a powerful tool in nurturing and maintaining the health of the entire family.

Incorporating this kind of focused, nuanced care has been instrumental in helping my family move from a place of struggle to a place of harmony and health. It’s a journey that takes time, effort, and sometimes hard choices, but the rewards are profound and lasting.

The emotional stress caused by not understanding burnout further exhausts the person. It makes the burnout worse.

With my Mom & Child HTMA package, you'll gain the insight and support you need to address both your needs and your child's, creating a ripple effect of wellness that will benefit your entire family. Learn more & get started HERE. 

The Cornerstone of Health: Deep Nutrition

Over the years of doing this work and simply living on this planet, I’ve come to realize that deep nutrition is fundamental. It’s not just about what we eat but also about how we interact with our planet, for better or worse. Deep nutrition is one of the most crucial ways we begin to heal the bodies we live in, making it a cornerstone of health.

Deep nutrition profoundly affects who we are and how we express ourselves. I find it hard to grasp when someone tries to focus on spiritual or emotional growth without first establishing a solid foundation in nutrition. Without it, true alignment and healing seem almost impossible. Just learning and then recognizing that emotions affect minerals and minerals affect emotions showed me that mineral imbalances deeply impact how we are able to be and express ourselves. Our emotional well-being depends on us being deeply nourished. To me, this is an incredibly important piece of our collective health puzzle.

When we prioritize deep nutrition, we not only support our physical health but also create a foundation for emotional and spiritual growth. This holistic approach is essential for true healing and well-being, both individually and collectively. It’s about nourishing ourselves in a way that supports every aspect of our being, allowing us to thrive in a world that often overlooks the profound connection between our bodies and our emotions.

The emotional stress caused by not understanding how burned out I was had taken an enormous toll on me—it was making everything worse. It wasn't until I truly assessed where my body was at that I could break the cycle. By identifying the root causes of my problems, I began to realize that my low energy wasn't just a minor inconvenience—it was the thing that was ruining my entire life. The challenges I faced, the emotions that overwhelmed me, were all deeply connected to this lack of energy.

Before I understood there was a proper physical explanation for how I was feeling, I had so much guilt and genuinely thought I was seriously dysfunctional. I walked around carrying a sense of shame for my difficulties, one that I never shared with anyone. The reality was that I had so little reserves left I was running on fumes, not exactly a recipe for good self esteem and self confidence.

When you're in burnout, it's not just your body that's affected—your entire life starts to unravel. My energy was so depleted that if I didn't do something about it, I knew I wouldn't stand a chance at enjoying my kids' childhood, let alone feeling good in my own body, mind, and soul. Unfortunately, the medical world often doesn't do anything about stress overload until it leads to a diagnosable disease. But none of us have time to wait for that. We have lives to live, children to love, and joy to experience.

This degree of burnout cannot be fixed by simply taking a vacation or getting some extra rest. It requires a complete overhaul to get to the root of the exhaustion and begin the healing process. The effects of burnout ripple throughout your entire body, impacting everything from your blood sugar levels to your thyroid function. Yet, conventional medicine often treats these symptoms in isolation, ignoring the underlying burnout that’s causing the whole system to collapse.

Realizing that my emotional and physical challenges were connected to my depleted energy levels was a huge turning point for me. It allowed me to focus my mind and energy on making real progress, knowing that the situation could be corrected. The truth is, burnout isn't just a physical collapse—it's a collapse of every part of your life. And addressing it isn't just about survival; it's about reclaiming your life, your energy, and your joy.

Over the years of doing this work for myself and my family, I’ve seen many of my health issues fall by the wayside, and my kids have stayed healthy, rarely getting sick.

The deeper I shore up my own nutrition—and as you know from my podcast, I believe nutrition goes beyond just food, extending into nature—the more I’ve been able to process trauma, heal emotional wounds, and become a fuller, healthier version of myself. Many of the hangups I once had are no longer an issue. I’ve dissolved deep-seated patterns and emotional challenges and have started to help my children do the same.

I truly believe that it’s this level of deep nourishment that has initiated such profound healing. If I hadn’t delved into this work, I wouldn’t have come this far. If more families could commit to this level of repair and support, not just for themselves but for their entire families, society as a whole would be in such a better place.

Helping Other Moms and their kiddos 

I have had many moms reach out to me asking for help on their health journey and I hope me sharing my story helps. It's why I created my Mom & Child HTMA package as a great place to start. 

This way mom can settle into her own support while helping only one child, the one who needs it the most this allows focus clarity and much less overwhelm to help pave the way for mom to be able to handle supporting the entire family more deeply. Learn more and get started HERE. 

Don’t wait to take action. By investing in the Mom & Child HTMA package, you’re not only taking a powerful step toward improving your health but also setting your family up for long-term success. Start your journey today!