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Unlock The Courage To Embrace Your Full Inner Strength

mindest personal growth Nov 13, 2018

In my last post; 'How to breakthrough limiting beliefs so you can heal', I shared about the role of personal responsibility in healing your body, mind, soul and spirit.

Today, I want to talk about  finding the courage to see and embrace your full inner strength.

I can still remember the first time I went to see a therapist. It was September of 2009 and the only reason I went was thanks to the loving prodding of a couple friends.

I didn't grow up in a home where therapy was something that was embraced. We grew up believing everything we needed for life was through our church leaders (maybe that's a story for another day). Suffice it to say it was a very big step for me and incredibly uncomfortable, but I knew it was necessary.

As I sat on my therapists couch in her incredibly cozy 'office', she asked me what had been going on in my life that led me to come see her. After I shared, she asked me some clarifying questions.

I told her my life story in summary (rather point blank at that) and I'll never forget the next thing she shared. I truly believe it unlocked the door to where I had hidden and buried all my pain.

She said (in summary); 'Lydia, you have been through an incredible amount of difficulty in your life, more than many people, and yet you seem as though it was not hard or painful and no big deal. It is a big deal.'

I stared at her blankly but those words pierced me in a way I truly needed. I had never been taught as a child to  feel I was worthy of better. I had become so numb, yet also so full of shame. Which was why I acted as if I was fine and buried all the hard stuff, all the pain.

It's like the safety of her office space and her words gave me permission to let down the walls I built up to protect myself all my life. They gave me permission to grieve and process, something I never could do on my own.

Now obviously there's a whole lot more to the story than that, but suffice it to say that was the beginning. The start of the cracking open of the vault of pain I had carried far too long, so I could release it and let it go.


{ Photo of an original piece by David Hayward. Shared with permission. If you love it, you can get one HERE from his Etsy shop. }

I wish I could say it was easy and quick but it wasn't. However, it was necessary. What I learned was it is important to willingly look at your inner 'demons', your shame and your pain.

This may seem quite heavy, but the truth is that simply acknowledging what had been enslaving me was a hugely powerful step in finding my freedom and joy.

Once you are able to clearly identify your own pain or inner 'demons', you can get to know how to find appropriate ways to free yourself.

By bringing these parts of yourself to the light, you can learn to accept, heal and integrate them. In the years to follow that first therapy session I did just that.

Here are a few of the steps I personally took along the way to unlock my courage and embrace my inner strength.

1. Ask for help

"Healing takes time and asking for help is the first step" ~ Mariska Hargitay

Finding the right support to feel safe and be heard is incredibly powerful. Please give yourself this incredible gift. Ask for help and give yourself permission to receive the help you need to heal.

2. Solitude

Learn to be okay by yourself. You are a whole person already you may just have some wounds to work through. Give yourself the gift of alone time for meditation and reflection. Learning that it was okay to be alone and do things alone helped me to get to know myself, love myself. It also is an incredible act of self-care. One that can help 'recharge your batteries' and rejuvenate your spirit.

3. Take Your Time

My journey to embrace my full inner strength has been a long one, and I'll tell you it's important to be prepared for the long game.  

Meaningful changes take time. You need to have the patience to hold space for others. You need to have the courage to face challenges. And you must have the fortitude to keep showing up no matter what setbacks you encounter.

4. Integrate Your Whole Self

Your ability to walk side by side with your own 'inner demons', instead of ignoring them or trying to beat them into submission, is a strength.

Your best approach to gain mastery over them is by tapping into your courage, your gentle (but fierce) power.

Remember that you don’t need to force anything to happen. Instead, look at how you can conserve your energy by working WITH your challenges.

Instead of feeling shame around your struggles and pain, shine a light on it so you can see what it's trying to teach you. After all, you can only see your shadow when the sun is shining brightly overhead. It's okay to illuminate the 'dark' parts and see what you can learn from them to heal.


5. Act As If

"Healing Takes Courage and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little" Tori Amos

See yourself as already brave, already strong, already empowered. The truth is you already have courage and inner strength, maybe you just haven't given yourself permission to recognize it and tap into it more fully.

Acting 'As If' isn't about being delusional or in denial, it is about knowing that you can more deeply align with what you want now, no matter what your current reality looks like.

Tell yourself you are already courageous. Find an instance in your life that took courage and inner strength for you to overcome something. If you have a hard time seeing yourself in this way, ask someone you love to tell you where they see you show inner strength.

If you liked this post and want more inspiration like it, check out my other posts in this series:

Now I'd love to hear from you. What ways have you unlocked your own inner courage? Let me know in the comments.


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